It burned so bad, I was gagging and gasping for breath. Not a word was said. The doctor stitched the wound up, which thank goodness that went quickly and without incident. I asked what was in the cup that spilled, the doc said it was formaldehyde and that it had all gone on the floor. Nurse Nutt wouldn't look me in the eye, I could tell that she wasn't very proud of the preceding events. I left it at that and got out of there as fast as I could. Went home and called the poison control in Atlanta, they said that amount wouldn't have any effect, maybe just a touch of nausea. So no big deal, just give me my formaldehyde straight please...
A couple of ending notes and this story will be over. I got a report from that doctors office about two weeks later. It said that the biopsy showed the specimen to be Basal Cell Carcinoma but that it was inconclusive if all the cancer cells had been removed. But wait, there's more. Buy now and I'll include a second mistake at no extra charge. A few months later I happened to tell another doctor, a good friend, about that ordeal and showed the biopsy report to him. He said that report wasn't a real 'lab' report. It was just something that had been typed up on that doctors letterhead. Why would they do this? Probably because there wasn't a specimen to analyze. Where'd it go? You're guess is as good as mine, I'm guessing that I swallowed it or that it ended up on the floor too. I'll never know.
And lastly, remember I said I built decks? I also did some siding jobs and one day I got a message on my answering machine from a lady named Wendy Nutt. She wants an estimate to put vinyl siding on her house. I realize that she doesn't know who she's calling. In the doctors office I always get called by my first name, when in real life I go by my middle name. And that's who she asked for in the message. I go over there and the look on this ladies face when she opened the door was of pure disbelief. She couldn't believe her dumb luck that it would be me that showed up. Ha, I just let her squirm, she starts stammering, not so cool, calm and collected all of a sudden, "oh my goodness" she says, "I am so sorry for that terrible day you had, that was just awful." She carries on for a few minutes, finally I tell her that It hadn't been her fault. That I had no bad feelings towards her. I went on to give her an estimate, and it was fair, but I never heard from her again and I never followed up on that job.
The Basal Cell Carcinoma was back in five years.
A couple of ending notes and this story will be over. I got a report from that doctors office about two weeks later. It said that the biopsy showed the specimen to be Basal Cell Carcinoma but that it was inconclusive if all the cancer cells had been removed. But wait, there's more. Buy now and I'll include a second mistake at no extra charge. A few months later I happened to tell another doctor, a good friend, about that ordeal and showed the biopsy report to him. He said that report wasn't a real 'lab' report. It was just something that had been typed up on that doctors letterhead. Why would they do this? Probably because there wasn't a specimen to analyze. Where'd it go? You're guess is as good as mine, I'm guessing that I swallowed it or that it ended up on the floor too. I'll never know.
And lastly, remember I said I built decks? I also did some siding jobs and one day I got a message on my answering machine from a lady named Wendy Nutt. She wants an estimate to put vinyl siding on her house. I realize that she doesn't know who she's calling. In the doctors office I always get called by my first name, when in real life I go by my middle name. And that's who she asked for in the message. I go over there and the look on this ladies face when she opened the door was of pure disbelief. She couldn't believe her dumb luck that it would be me that showed up. Ha, I just let her squirm, she starts stammering, not so cool, calm and collected all of a sudden, "oh my goodness" she says, "I am so sorry for that terrible day you had, that was just awful." She carries on for a few minutes, finally I tell her that It hadn't been her fault. That I had no bad feelings towards her. I went on to give her an estimate, and it was fair, but I never heard from her again and I never followed up on that job.
The Basal Cell Carcinoma was back in five years.
How do you like your formaldehyde?...
......I'll have mine straight up, thank you!
......I'll have mine straight up, thank you!
Here comes the blade and I'm thinking just a few more minutes, I'll wake up and this nightmare will be over. The cutting starts, I feel some pressure and pulling but no pain. We're good I think, eh, wrong again! I hear the doc mutter "got it, specimen cup please" and here comes nurse Nutt's hand floating into view right over my face holding a small clear container with some liquid in it.
Here comes the doctors hand with the tweezers holding the specimen. Again, I don't know if the stool moved or a roll tumbled, but smack, tweezers strike cup and over and out of nurse Nutts hand goes the cup.
Instantly I feel a very cold sensation spreading down my chest, around my neck and right behind that feeling I realize that I now have a mouth full of this stuff and I can feel it going down my throat past where it was numb from all the Novocaine that ended up there. I try to spray it out of my mouth, but it's all numb and all I could do was swallow. It felt like a cold liquid fire.
Instantly I feel a very cold sensation spreading down my chest, around my neck and right behind that feeling I realize that I now have a mouth full of this stuff and I can feel it going down my throat past where it was numb from all the Novocaine that ended up there. I try to spray it out of my mouth, but it's all numb and all I could do was swallow. It felt like a cold liquid fire.
